Tuesday, October 1, 2013

My Thoughtful Place

In the words of Winnie the Pooh, I am in my thoughtful place.  Yes, I am at Starbucks writing this post.  Not only is the location my thoughtful place, but so is where I am mentally right now. 

So, my thoughts for the day revolve around change, and how to move yourself from where you perceive you are, to where you want to be.  This is easier said than done, however, it can be done. 

It is easy to be like the crowd, and live in Negativeville, but it takes effort to move yourself from there.  So, here are a couple of characteristics of Negativeville.

  • Do you find yourself finger pointing and focusing on what others are doing, rather than what you are doing?
  • Do your interactions with others generally focus about you, or your frustrations?
  • You are not able to extract any positives from your day.
So, how do you attach a U-Haul to your tuchus, and move out of Negativeville and land in Pleasant Valley, or Positiveland.  Hint: You don't have to travel through Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.  Here are some perspectives that have helped me in the past. You may recognize some of these perspectives from baseball or other sports movies.
  • Don't think, it only hurts the team. Meaning, the more I over analyze the situation, the more negative energy I am wasting.  Negative energy is draining and unproductive.
  • I don't have to be the center of attention.  I can be a positive influence by working behind the scenes.
  • When someone gives you a gift, thank them. In other words, be sincere and appreciative of the work of others. Whether or not this is reciprocated does not matter. Be true to yourself.
  • Feed the monster! Everyone likes their ego stroked. By taking the time to do so, you ensure your number gets called.
  • The greatest recognition that an athlete can receive is that they are recognized by their peers as great teammate, not that they hit the most home runs, or scored the most goals, etc. Be the great teammate.
In my thoughtful place, I am taking the time to listen and observe others. I keep my focus on what I am doing, not what others are doing. If someone has a perception that I may not agree with, I can't change their perception with words, but I can with positive actions.

No one is perfect, however, if I strive to improve a consistently positive outlook, I may be able to perfect outcomes. If I focus on situational outcomes, results improve.  Once results improve, I am at that point able to unhook that U-Haul from my tuchus and enjoy where I am.

Remember, your positive actions and attitudes can have a far reaching impact on those who you may not even be aware are paying attention to you. No matter how impactful you may perceive you are, I guarantee you are leaving an impression on someone, why not make it a positive one.

Have a great week!


  1. In order to change you have to embrace uncertainty, act to achieve the change you want and have courage to do so. And, not to forget, be positive about moving forward and not want to hang on to the safety you feel you have at the moment.

  2. I think you offer some fabulous advice! Listening and observing are key. I find that I can learn a lot about myself from watching others, whether I'm observing complete strangers or those I'm around the most. I know someone who fits this negative profile and I'm not sure they'd ever even take the time to really listen to themselves and how their negativity comes across. They're too busy using the 'poor me' personality for attention. If only they would get out of their own way, they'd find they would still receive attention and it wouldn't have to be forced. But...insecurity plays key to that. Thank you for the insightful read!

  3. Excellent advice...though I give compliments as I see them deserved. I really don't expect something in return. But as you say...funny how it comes back to you in some way or another, right? But what I DON'T understand, is how can you write in a Starbucks!!!! LOL Just can't stand the distractions! Write on....

  4. I try to stay away from negative people as it is toxic. My parents would always say I reminded them of Polyanna. I am not sure if you are too young to know who she was.
    I couldn't agree with more that over analyzing something is useless energy. I try to rely on my gut which is usually right.

    I think compliments should be given out if you really feel it. I don't like phonies. Try to go through with a positive attitude and you will find those type of people will be attracted to you.

  5. Yeh, I have a habit of negative thinking, and I think it has to do with being around negative people. But lately I have been trying to look on the bright side, and realize that hey, "I have more than most people" and that, "I'm ahead of the curve" thus if I fail, its not really a failure because I am doing something that no one I know has even attempted. So that fact that I made it this far, means I'm doing something right!

  6. Great advice and so cleverly written.. This is the way I try to live my life as I have 3 little darlings that observe my every move and the best way to teach is to practice what I preach....Right? I'm far from perfect and certainly have my moments of doubt, frustration and so on.. but my three little angels are daily reminders that life is precious and time passes much too quickly... too quickly to be stuck on highway negativity..

  7. All valuable ideas. I also tune out the news. I find when I follow it, I can really just slide down in my attitude. I don't tune it out totally, there are plenty around me who tune me in to the top stories of the day. Thanks!

    Over from LinkedIn group BHB

  8. I am so leaving Negativille and heading to Pleasant Valley!
    We all need to stand back and review our over analysis and just look for the good. What a great reminder :)