We have all heard the saying that people’s perception is
their reality. I would like to flip the script on that saying by offering that
peoples reality, is based on their perceptions.
Recently I was visiting my parents. At the end of the visit, I was going to the
airport with my father who apologized for the visit not being very fun. I thought for a second, and disagreed with
him (not an uncommon occurrence). “What
was he thinking”, I thought to myself.
This was a great visit, but his perception is that there always had to
be something going on in order for me to enjoy myself. In fact, it was just the opposite.
I responded to him about all the things that I got to do,
and refocused his perception on all the positive things that we did. I am fortunate that I am mid-40’s, have both
my parents still very much alive, have two brothers, and a sister who have all
been individually successful.
After thinking about it for a few moments, my Dad agreed
that is was a good visit. His reality is
that there has to be activity continuously occurring in order to have an
enjoyable time. My reality is that presence is more important than activity.
Here are a couple of tidbits that helped him understand that
I had an enjoyable time.
- I was with them for Thanksgiving
- Thanksgiving was a White Thanksgiving (earlier than a White Christmas)
- I stayed with my sister and brother in law during a major power outage
- I participated in a 5K
- I got to have lunch with one of my oldest friends
- I had beers for the first time with my youngest brother who is 15 years younger than I….so did my Dad.
- I got to see deer in their front yard within about 25 feet of me
- I appreciated where I came from, versus where I was, or where I was headed
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Great post and very true!
ReplyDeleteIn rhetoric and comp circles this concept would be explained by the concept of discourse communities and subjectivism. Now that's a mouthful, but same general concept ;)
ReplyDeletePerfect example of perception and reality and how they vary for each of us. Interesting that you Dad felt it might not have been a good visit because of what he felt YOU were thinking! When you think about that, it's kind of sweet:)
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Mark. Sometimes your perception if different if you're the visitor rather than the host. Maybe your father was feeling a little responsible for the "fun" you would have when visiting.
ReplyDeleteMark- Nice to see that you are back. Since we all have opinions how we view things is our own perception and of which becomes our reality. We go on what we have experienced. There are so many times I think when someone reacts to something that is so different from what the situation really is, their own perception comes into play.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post and great way to make us think in other way.
ReplyDeleteI feel that perception and reality do change if we change our behavior or thought towards them. I am happy that you have convinced your Dad about that.
I feel towards same thing we all have different perceptions and by discussion we can change the minds and realities.